I’ve just returned from the marriage of Kate & Kyle at the Flower Farm in Loomis, CA. It was incredibly moving to be a part of. Kate and Kyle had asked me to be the one to officiate & be deputized as their Commissioner of Civil Marriages for the day. I was sworn in on September 25th and the wedding took place on October 12th. The following is a transcript of the ceremony.

Welcome everyone. I’d like to thank you for coming to participate in this union of matrimony between Anne Katherine Craddock and Kyle Matthew Ingram.

As I was thinking about what I was going to say today I was struck by something subtle, powerful & revealing about the type of people that Kate & Kyle are and the union that they are creating here today. Everyone here represents the things that Kate & Kyle value and cherish the most. Wether it’s blood relatives, family through marriage or the friends who are so close that they have become a part of the family.

As we stand here today witnessing their union we see a portrait of their lives that we have all helped paint. Wether it was small dabs here and there or large brush strokes throughout their lives. We begin to see a small part of the canvas that is their future together. Everyone here has provided a model of the best that marriage brings. The strong bonds, care & love that comes from the intertwining of lives.

I’m in a unique position performing this duty and have been able to get to know Kyle better than most brother in laws.

I was there at the dawn of their relationship, Kate was living with me when they first met as employees at PetSmart.

I was there to see the sunrise of their relationship and was pleased to be Kyle’s first exposure to part of his future family.

I was there to hear the news of Kyle’s proposal on their trip to Catalina.

I was incredibly happy at the news … and not at all surprised. it was then that I realized that I had already accepted Kyle into my heart and had been thinking of him as my sister’s husband.

I feel incredibly honored to have been a part of their lives so far and am overwhelmed to be the one to solidify this next stage of their lives.

I love you both dearly and it makes it easy to ask, with no hesitation for Kate to read the vows that she has prepared for Kyle.

Kate’s Vows:

Kyle, with all my love, I take you to be my husband, my companion for life, my equal and my best friend. You are the most affectionate and generous person that I have ever known and that is only a part of what makes me love you so much.

I promise today, as we begin our journey that I will work along side you to build a life together. With love, honesty and patience, I will support you unconditionally. I promise to always respect you and value your opinions, even if they differ from my own. And finally, I promise to love you wholeheartedly, wherever this life takes us.

I look forward to a future with you filled with exploring museums, hiking beautiful trails, discussing our favorite books, enjoying music, visiting amusement parks, and cuddling up to watch our favorite shows. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Kyle’s Vows:

Kate, my dearest friend, today I affirm my love for you, today you join me by my side, today we choose to walk the road together. Today I take you as my wife.

I promise to always love you,
To always be honest to you,
And to always value your love with a glad heart.

I look forward to facing whatever problems will come our way, because I know with you here, there is nothing we cannot do.

Today we set out as one to find our way through life. Since we first met, you have always been my best friend. I am the luckiest person in the world, because I get to wake up next to you.

I always knew there was something about you that was so beautiful, so bright.

I look forward to all the wonderful time we will get to share in the yeas to come.
I look forward to finally getting to build the garden we always wanted.
I look forward to watching it grow as my love will grow for you every day.

By virtue of the authority vested in me as a Deputy Commissioner of Civil Marriages, I now pronounce you married under the laws of the State of California. You may seal these vows with a kiss.

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t! It’s Robocop!

If you need 3d glasses you can make your own low rent versions like here or you can get a free pair here.

Red lens on the left, blue or cyan on the right.

Enjoy! And btw - new episodes are coming with a special guest star / recasting. As a clue to the recasting, you can figure out the name of the guest star by rearranging the names of two of the actors from the prequels … namely Anakin & Padme.

1. An indication of brute strength and unstopable force, the name craddock is often found amoungst steel miners and other labourere
   wow look at that guy he is crazy , must be a craddock
2. A strange being. The male variety usually has fascist tendencies with a communist background, yet still retains a deep love for all things aryan. The Craddock usually attracts limes and other citrus fruits to their general face area and their ultimate purpose in life is to strive to buy shoes for their Savage associates. They also like cars an unhealthy amount.
   Is that someone stealing my car? Must be a Craddock.
3. A man or woman who has ratbag tendancies. This person will do anything in his/her power in order to achieve their goal (usualy sexual). They will use phrases such as “The truth is not your Friend” and “ratingue”
   That craddock is on form tonight!